And Now for Something Completely Different
by CrazedTwilighter
Summary: Rndom stuff with the Cullens! Woot! EEEEP! First one is a Christmas fic in July! :


**Haha I have absolutely no idea what prompted me to write a Christmas fic in July, it could be my hatred for summer, yes that might have had something to do with it…**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or any of the characters (unfortunately.) I personally would love to own Edward… but they all belong to the magnificent Stephenie Meyer. I also don't own Relient K (this disclaimer is really starting to depress me…)**

**Story Background: Bella and the Cullen kids decided to go to a Christmas fair/concert thing in a park, let the weird randomness begin!**

**Reviews are appreciated, please be honest. :)**

**Much Love**

**Xoxoxox**

BPOV

This fair was really cool. Relient K was playing their Christmas album, **(if you haven't heard it go listen, ok A/N over) **it wasn't actually as cold as it could be, and it hasn't snowed yet…or it could be that I'm snuggling with Edward on a park bench, it's probably that last part ;-).

I have absolutely no clue where anyone else is, as soon as we got here, we all split into our couples (which is just fine by me).

"I'll be right back," Edward said then disappeared and reappeared in moments, holding a steaming cup of hot chocolate for me.

He sat back down and handed me the cup cautiously, making sure I didn't spill it. I kissed him on the cheek in thanks and gladly drank the warming liquid.

Alice and Jasper appeared suddenly; Alice looking more enthused than usual and Jasper both irritated and frightened.

"This. Place. Is. Great. I found this adorable costume," then I noticed her odd getup. She was dressed as an elf-head to toe in green with red and white fringe on the skirt, boots (pointed toes), and hat. "But Jasper is being somewhat of a grinch, he would barely let me put the hat on him, let alone the matching suit."

Poor Jasper, his arms crossed tightly around his chest, had a Santa Clause hat on, and didn't look at all happy. While Alice chatted away, he mouthed "Help me please," to Edward and me. Edward disguised his laughter in a cough, but I felt sorry for him. I of all people knew what shopping with Alice could be like.

All of a sudden it hit me. "Umm, Alice, where did you get an elf costume in a park?" She just smiled. I looked at Edward but he just shook his head as if to say "you don't want to know." Alice's eyes glazed over.

"Jasper, why do I see you running away when I come to help Bella look for her earring? By the way it's over there," she pointed to swings.

I checked my ears; sure enough my right earring was missing.

Jasper now looked panicked; he herded Alice away to explain.

"I wonder what Rose and Emmett are doing," I thought out loud.

"Bella, Edward," Rosalie was suddenly in front of us. "Have you seen Emmett anywhere? He just disappeared when we were over by the stage."

"Can't you just smell for him?" Edward asked.

"I tried, but it was crowded, there were too many scents."

"If we see him, we'll let you know," I added, smiling at her.

She flashed a grin in gratitude and was gone.

EmPOV

Hehehe, I had found the petting zoo. My plan to lose Rose had worked perfectly. She would never have let me do this. She might be a little mad later, but I'll just put on a puppy face, apologize, and tell her she's pretty a lot; she'll forgive me.

Muhaha, now where are they?

BPOV

Alice and Jasper had made up, and we all decided to help look for Emmett, who had somehow remained missing for almost an hour.

Edward and I were looking in the food stalls, and Alice and Jasper were looking behind them, when two scared figures ran up to us. An old man in a red suit, and a girl dressed in a trench coat yelled out at us. "I would get out of here if I were you! This place is haunted! His hat and my clothes just disappeared! There was a dark blur and then, poof! Cursed and haunted I tell you!"

They ran away and Edward and I turned to Alice with shocked expressions. She saw our faces and shrugged like "eh, what are you gonna do?"

With one mystery solved, we concentrated on Emmett. We checked in with Rosalie and even alerted park officials; neither had seen him.

-20 minutes later-

Abruptly, the park official we were talking to yet again's radio went off.

"Alan, we have an emergency! We have ourselves a 260, copy."

He turned to us and said "Sorry kids, I can't help with your lost child, we have an emergency," he turned and ran away.

I turned to Edward and looked a cross between amused and concerned.

"What is it?" I asked.

"Emmett," he answered simply. He took my hand and we hurried after the official.

What we saw when we got there made me want to laugh and had me a little confused; it was so, Emmett.

Emmett, the 80 some year old vampire, was on a reindeer from the petting zoo, slapping the side of it to make it run.

EmPOV

This was my awesome plan's one flaw: people liked the petting zoo, it was slightly crowded. So people saw when I hopped the gate, hopped in, and mounted a reindeer.

"On Dasher, on Dancer, on Prancer, on Vixen, on Comet, on Cupid, on Donner, on Blizen, on whatever your name is. Take me to Santa's tonight!"

The animal gave a low moan. Come on, I wasn't _that_ heavy.

"Hurry," I whispered, "before my wife sees, you don't want her mad. I promise I won't tell anyone where Santa's workshop is, just go!" I reasoned with the animal for five minutes before officials showed up.

"Come on!" I said, frustrated now. "Fly! Go! Or do I have to rhyme? Ok let's see…" I thought for a moment.

I cleared my throat.

"To unidentified reindeer I don't know the name;

Take me to Santa's house, this isn't a game;

Quick now, before word gets to my wife;

Or I face the end of my eternal life;

NOW, or I'll eat you!"

I thought it was just cute and threatening enough to give him some motivation, but he just stood there.

Just then, I heard the one voice I was afraid to. "EMMETT CULLEN! How many times do I have to tell you? Santa Clause isn't real!"

BPOV

Several children in the nearby vicinity looked horrified in this new development and started crying, but Emmett and Rose didn't seem to notice.

"Yes he is!" Emmett fired back. "I'll prove it! Fly you lazy reindeer! Fly!" He looked like a kid who's favorite toy broke when the reindeer continued it's (as Emmett would explain it later) "demonstration of flying strike to improve working conditions of fellow reindeers."

"Do I need to call Esme?" Rosalie threatened.

"You wouldn't," Emmett challenged, but looked nervous.

Rosalie shot him a "don't mess with me" look and took out her cell phone.

That did it, in a flash a sullen and defeated looking Emmett was beside Rosalie who was wearing a smug and triumphant smirk.

Rosalie came over and said "I think we should probably go home before someone recognizes him."

Edward nodded, "At least this time, you got to him before he was arrested."

At first I thought he was kidding, but Rosalie gave a sincere nod, turned away, and grabbed Emmett.

After we all piled into the Volvo, we began the short drive home.

"Well," Edward began, "that was _interesting,_" I laughed.

"No arrests," Emmett said almost defensively.

"Yeah, it wasn't as if we got caught," Alice added.

Rosalie and Emmett stared at Alice confused.

Realizing she had gave herself away, Alice looked down at her hands folded in her lap, "I don't want to talk about it."

"Alice," Emmett admitted, almost proud, "I can't believe you didn't see what I was doing before."

"She was too busy stealing costumes from unsuspecting fair people," Jasper explained, laughing.

"Traitor," Alice mumbled.

"That does explain your outfit," commented Rose.

"Perhaps we shouldn't tell Esme and Carlisle of our exploits this evening," Edward suggested.

"Sounds good to me," Emmett added quickly, obviously fearful of Esme's reaction to his stunt.

"Ok," we all agreed.

We pulled up to the house and everyone got out but Edward and me (he had to take me home). I opened my window and called "Merry Christmas!" to everyone, I received smiles back.

I turned to Edward, "Does your family always do strange stuff on holidays?"

He grimaced, "You should hear about the time Emmett and Jasper bought fireworks for New Years…"


End file.
